Movies I Don’t Recommend Watching (Part II)

I’ve finally collected enough films to do Part II of my Not-Recommended-Movies list. Here are some new films — and some old films — that I’ve recently seen, which I felt were unfortunate disappointments.

LesDeuxAmis

1. Les Deux Amis (2015)

There is something really pathetic about watching two grown men falling head-over-heels desperately in love with the same woman. I have no idea why the director tries so hard to make all the characters so unlikeable. Well, at least there is some depth to the characters. And, there’s one fascinating dance scene in this film (see picture above). That was the only scene I especially enjoyed throughout the very bland film.

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2. Roman Holiday (1953)

I honestly don’t understand why this film is so famous. It’s very, very overrated. Maybe classic romantic comedies just aren’t my thing. There was no chemistry between Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. The plot wasn’t that great either. Sure, there were some memorable moments, like the scene at the Mouth of Truth. I won’t forget the way Audrey Hepburn laughed and put her hand behind her back, her laughter sounded so real. Actually, I thought she was the only person in this film who knew what she was doing. Maybe that’s why she won an Academy Award for this role, ey?

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3. Hellboy (2004)

This movie had all the potential to be great. Gosh, Hellboy and Liz sound like a mighty perfect couple to me. I just don’t understand why they were crafted to be such shallow characters. We know nearly nothing about Liz and her history with Hellboy. How do you expect me to care about them when I have no idea what they’ve been through together and also when there’s zero chemistry between them?

The producers seem to have also thrown all logic out the window when they wrote the film. It bothered me deeply that Liz’s clothes didn’t burn. It just doesn’t make sense. The plot wasn’t smart either. When I found out that Liz was a firestarter, I knew she was gonna eventually create a huge explosion to burn them demon critters and eggs. So. Friggin. Predictable. Which is such a shame, really, I heard that the comics were amazing. Here’s hoping the upcoming remake/reboot would be better than this. And nope, I’m not intending to watch The Golden Army.

A-Taxi-Driver-2017

4. A Taxi Driver, aka 택시운전사 (2017)

Yeap, I shared the same expression as the old man up there for nearly the entire movie. I was actually super stoked when GV decided to screen this movie again. Some of my friends and colleagues who have seen this film highly recommended it to me, telling me it was one of the most heartbreaking films they’ve ever seen.

Hence, you can imagine my disappointment when this film turned out to be a super cheesy, corny, melodramatic film. Which isn’t fair when you think about the atrocities that happened in Gwangju during that period. In my opinion the film wasn’t dark, disturbing nor realistic enough to effectively convey the horrors that happened, to the audience.

I kept asking myself, am I really that cruel? People were being shot at point blank, dropping down like flies — cue sad music, cut to crying faces — and I didn’t give a damn. So I pondered on this, and came to a realization that I felt the way I did because A Taxi Driver seemed more like another blockbuster action film, rather than a history film. So the scenes felt more like fiction rather than reality, and hence, not as horrifying.

And hence, not recommended. Watch The Pianist instead.

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5. Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Shallow characters, boring script, and an all-too-convenient plot. This film reminded me of how much I disliked the book. Award winning actors can’t save this show for shit because they weren’t given anything to work with in the first place. This film makes you put in so much effort trying to focus on the words and the details, but at the end of it you’d realise your effort really wasn’t worth it. At all. You know what you should watch? And Then There Were None. Now that’s the way an Agatha Christie should be adapted.

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